hi so first off the world is burning and

we’re all doomed

yep climate change it’s a doozy and it’s

really important that we all do a bit to

help the environment including cutting

down the singly use straws if we’re able

to but not all disabled people are able

to however whilst doing their bit

personally is really important we also

need to be focusing our energies on big

corporations because they’re the ones

setting us down

we’re being encouraged to tender fan

single-use plastics narrative on each

other to the extent that people leave me

messages daily saying oh well the world

can do without disabled people and just

people people are a sacrifice worth

making fYI that’s called supporting

genocide and honey that’s never a good

look you need to be angry at the

multinational corporations who are

supporting the strawberry cloud and yet

aren’t actually investing in researching

alternatives that work for everyone

because the current reuse of

alternatives don’t here’s why Michael

they seem like a great idea because you

can keep them clean but it can’t be used

with a hot liquid out and if a person’s

on a liquid diet in hospital that’s a

lot of cold soup and they’re often

coated which then falls apart this used

to be coated in a pink plastic and I

don’t even want to think about how much

of that’s in my system now they’re held

in one position even the bent ones make

curved that they don’t flex how is this

useful most importantly though they’re

in injury risk you could just be

drinking your drink and then you have a

seizure you’re cracking your teeth and

sending it through a soft palate a woman

recently died whilst drinking through a

metal straw and she slipped and fell and

it went through her eye thank God

environmentally friendly except the ones

that have an inner wax coating because

then you can’t actually recycle them all

sober than the ones that don’t

disintegrate and become a choking hazard

plus you can’t use them of lying down or

with hot liquids

basically there are three to five times

more expensive than plastic straws

completely useless to many disabled

people but please do use them if you can

just don’t judge other people for not

being able to side note just last year

in the UK

McDonald’s accidents plastic straws

which could be recycled to replace them

and paper straws which were too thick to

be recycled and had to go into general

waste a mass do I really need to tell

you why putting a gas drawer in the

mouth of someone who shakes has seizures

or is mentally incapable of knowing you

shouldn’t bite down on it is a bad idea

also again can’t use them while lying

down and they’re weirdly expensive for

something so useless silicon they seem

so fun sadly they just don’t end

properly oh and sometimes they float to

the top of your drink also they have a

very strange mouthfeel and I seem to

never be able to suck liquids up them

quickly am i doing this wrong acrylic an

allergy risk

who knew also an injury risk yes they

can take teeth out too and you can’t use

it as hot liquids or bend them it can

also be pretty expensive a star there’s

literally nothing good about these

straws I accept that are incredibly

expensive they’re an allergy risk injury

risk choking hazard dissolvable break

down in hot water and an utter waste of

your money Rumble oh my god I hate

bamboo straw custom straws I have cut my lip three

times now and I honestly just can’t note

interestingly some people are actually

really allergic to them and they’re not

positionable and they give too wide or

too narrow and they’re really expensive

one of the great of all this is such a

great idea I have loads of them and I’d

use them all the time I mean it doesn’t

make me want to not cry about the price

though stop people from yelling at me on

the Internet

funny thing is they do biodegrade within

six months but you can’t actually do

that on a regular household composter

because it doesn’t get hot enough so

you’ve got to put it into landfill like

a regular plastic straw but as I said it

does take six months to break down so at

any point within that six months it

could find its way into the ocean and

the nose of a portal turtle also can I

just point out by degrading releases

methane anyway

panicking in tow please remember to

dispose of your biodegradable straw

safely by cutting them in half

lengthways oh and these are also an

allergen risk look it’s right that we

reduced our plastic consumption

obviously we maybe focus on the ones

that don’t keep people alive do false

nails keep anyone alive

no do helium balloons no just cigarette

butts no let’s get rid of those fast and

then and only then once there is a

proper alternative if made of plastic

straws and I mean genuinely only once

there’s an alternative just go and fight

some big businesses okay making them

invest in the environment

a recent study says just 100 companies

are responsible for 71 percent of the

world’s emissions — which you may say

well if they’re that essential just

saving people should just bring their

own straws and we do I carry at least

five of the things with me in my handbag

but I also have memory problems so I

forget to remove them and clean them and

put them back so I tend to make myself

feel a lot by taking one of these

disgusting things and the bottom of my

bag when a restaurant won’t provide me

with one drinking from it and destroying

my own compromised immune system oh and

everyone comments she looks fine to me

has just volunteered to come and look

after me on a day when I’m in so much

pain I can’t even scream and all I want

to do is vomit over the side of the bed

thanks guys that’s actually really

helpful do I need to use a single-use

plastic straw every day no and I don’t

but I will defend to the death the

rights of people who do need them it’s

not sharing the burden of being plastic

free when that burden is deeply unequal

you cannot say you care about the world

without caring for those who are most

helpless also I assume you’re not

watching this on a mobile phone right

because of the environmental societal

issues oh and I’m going to save a person

and I don’t need straws so no disabled

person needs them it’s not a valid

argument I’m a redhead and I hate

chocolate that what I know

an empirical fact that all redheads hate

chocolate oh and it should be banned for

them actually I’m going to ban it for

everyone sorry chaps chocolates now

burned

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